His and Hers Wedding Bands: to Match or not to Match?

should you match your wedding bands

Shopping for an engagement ring and shopping for wedding rings are two distinctly different experiences. 

After all the hype around the engagement ring, it’s easy to forget about the wedding band up until the last minute. But don’t let that happen to you! The more you prepare and plan, the easier and more enjoyable it will be.

Shopping for an engagement ring and shopping for wedding rings are two distinctly different experiences.

The former is typically steeped in mystery for one member of the couple, while the latter is more of a team effort; equal say, no surprises.

When you both have endless choices and ample time to browse for, where to start? How about with this one potential point of contention: should you get matching wedding bands?

Start the process early to avoid the stress and panic of time limitations; you want the experience to be relaxed and romantic. You’re choosing the sentimental piece of jewelry that everyone will recognize as a symbol of your eternal love.

Think about looking back on this moment and remember how special and romantic it was choosing your wedding rings together. No matter your choice, make sure it is true to you as a couple and you won't regret your wedding band choices.

If you aren't looking to purchase a ring set that's been designed to go together, here are a few ideas for selecting both his and her wedding bands that are a perfect expression of your personal style.

When two become one

There are countless options for wedding rings these days—for women and men alike. The variety of styles available provides ample opportunity for brides and grooms to express their individuality and taste through their wedding band selection. Many couples see the symbolism of matching wedding bands as a way of honoring their marriage and commitment.

Wearing matching wedding bands is a traditional choice that makes a clear statement that you and your partner are equals. Other reasons to match include expressing that the two of you are now a unit and you share the same taste and style.

If you’re both pleased with the engagement ring, consider purchasing the wedding bands from the same jeweler, to save you looking around too much. You’ll also want to discuss whether you’d like your wedding bands to match each other. If you decide on having bands inlaid with diamonds or other gemstones, remember the 4Cs.

Think about your lifestyle and how often you plan on wearing the bands too. If you plan on wearing it every day, you’ll want something comfortable, with smooth edges that won’t catch on anything. You can look into more detailed, ornate design if you’ll only wear your bands on special occasions.

Even if your bands aren't identical, they can still share a similar theme. A couple could use the same metal, share a similar design element or even custom design rings that interlock like a puzzle when brought together.

Points to consider

Just like wedding colors, cakes, and honeymoon destinations, different couples like different things. When choosing wedding bands, it's important that both you and your significant other love the band you choose – especially since you're going to be wearing it every day. Before you go to the store to look at wedding bands, here are some things to consider:


There are a variety of different metals out there for wedding bands. Gold is the traditional metal for bridal jewelry, but platinum wedding bands have made big inroads, along with men’s wedding bands in contemporary metals such as titanium and tungsten. Some people have skin sensitivities and may need to choose a hypoallergenic metal.


Yellow gold wedding bands are the traditional choice, but why stick with traditional when there are other options out there?

Wedding bands come in a variety of different colors, allowing you to choose a band that fits your style and personality. Yellow, white, rose, black?

If you have a light complexion or your tastes run to contemporary, white or rose gold for her or gray tungsten or black titanium wedding bands for him can be just as stunning.


Polished finishes are very common for wedding bands, but you can also find wedding bands that have a matte, satin or hammered finish. A polished finish is highly reflective, while a matte or satin finish has a softer appearance and doesn’t show scratches as readily.


Do you want a wedding band that is solid metal? Will you look at rings with diamond or color gemstone accents? For the bride's wedding band, are you looking to have it match her engagement ring? There's no right or wrong answer, and it all comes down to preference.


Contemporary, traditional or somewhere between, wedding bands come in every style. Your wedding band should complement your personal style.

What kind of clothes do you wear? What kind of art do you like? That will help you narrow down the choices before you get to the jewelry store.

It’s not just the style of the rings that you need to think about: it’s also their size. Men’s fingers are usually a bit wider than women’s, so the ring might need to not only be wider but also thicker to make it look better. Taking these small adjustments into consideration can ensure that the rings look great on both of you while still matching.

Making compromises

What happens if your discussion leads you both to the conclusion you should select wedding bands that aren’t part of a set? Or what if one person still wants a matched set and the other doesn’t?

You still have two options to consider before dismissing matching wedding rings entirely.

Proportion could be an issue, with a particular style looking too dainty on the man’s finger or too overwhelming on the woman’s hand. Ask your jeweler to show you matched sets scaled to different widths.

If proportion isn’t the stumbling block, ask if your jeweler offers a custom design program where you and your fiancé/fiancée can design a matched set you both love because you created it yourselves.

If you still can’t agree on a matched set, it’s time to dip your feet into the swirling pool of compromise. Complementary rings — rather than matched rings — could be the perfect solution. Jewelers can show you many choices, but here are just a few options to get your creative juices flowing:

  • Two bands of different styles but identical metals.
  • Two bands of different metals but the same style.

For instance, a band with three diamond accents placed vertically across the center will look traditional in yellow gold, but contemporary and masculine in gray tungsten.

If one of you likes the simple design and the other likes more detail, choose rings that look the same except that one is highly polished gold all over and the other has a texture or inlay of another metal in the middle.

When not to match

There are no hard and fast rules that dictate you have to match your bands. Today, many couples choose not to in order to customize their rings to their personal style and preferences.

For the bride, she may want a band covered in diamonds that complements her engagement ring, while the groom may want an alternative metal. Many modern guys are partial sleek metal bands. Shiny black is even becoming a popular color for men's wedding bands.

Choosing not to match your bands is totally common and tends to skew non-traditional. Non-matching bands celebrate your individuality while still solidifying your bond–reminder: you’re still wearing wedding rings even if they don’t match.

As you can see, there is no standard for couples matching their rings; it is truly up to you. While matching wedding bands is a symbol of you and your new spouse becoming one unit, not matching your bands lets you express your individuality and avoid one of you feeling pressured to choose a band he or she doesn't absolutely love.

Either way, it is important for the couple to be aligned on this decision prior to choosing a band.

The whole process of choosing wedding bands that match is a special one to share with your partner. It’s a wonderful way to feel closer and that you are deciding on a piece of jewelry that will be unique and special to both of you for life.

Your wedding bands should be an expression of your love for each other, and your wedding bands don't have to match in order for you to do this. Above all, focus on finding wedding bands that will make both of you happy and worry less about whether or not they match.